I love men just as much as the next gay guy (or straight or bisexual woman). I don’t believe that two people have to be in love for them to have sex. If two willing souls agree to it, it should be entirely up to them.
I was the marketing manager for a high-end brand and the job required me to travel 80 percent of my time. I would often visit Atlanta, North Carolina, New York, Los Angeles, Florida, New Orleans, Massachusetts and many others cities on business.
After my flight, I would usually head straight to the hotel. I’d login to my Grindr app (like Tinder, for gay guys) to check out the local talent.
One time, I was heading to Boston for a few days and wasn’t having any luck on Grindr. I have friends who use Craigslist to hook up with guys, so I thought, why not? I posted an ad on the classifieds, “Men Seeking Men.” I wrote an explicit description of exactly what I was looking for.
Within minutes, guys were sending me messages asking to meet up. I lined up four guys back-to-back that day. After getting out of the shower, I got a knock at the door. I opened it up with nothing but a towel.
When hooking up, I never care to ask for the guy’s name. I opened the door to a tall 6’4″ white, mid-30s good-looking man. I wanted him right there.
The lights in the room were off. He walked in and moved to the foot of the bed but didn’t sit. I closed the door and walked over to him. Then, right when we were going for it, his phone started to ring. He looked at the caller ID.
“Hey, sorry, but I have to pick up. It’s my wife. I told her I was picking up food for her and the kids,” he said with a straight face and picked up. “Hey, babe, sorry it’s taking so long. I stayed longer at work. I’ll be home within the next 30 minutes. Pick out a movie for us to watch tonight. OK, love you,” he told his wife.
I acted like nothing had happened but I was a little shocked. But hey, the show must go on. After he left, I had a few other guys over. As they started to come into my room, I noticed that each of them had a wedding ring on.
Later that night when I was done, most of the guys that came over wrote me asking how long I was in town for and if they could swing by again before I left. I asked all of them if they were married. They replied, “Yes.” They told me they were straight, but enjoyed getting it on with men because their wives didn’t know how or were just plain boring in bed.
Am I a homewrecker? Knowing that all these men were married, I realized their wives had no idea whom they were married to. It’s not that I didn’t care that they were married but it wasn’t up to me to get involved in their relationships.
I wasn’t sure if it was because they were straight and married that I was super-turned on. I’ve always slept with straight guys; they were the ones I always ended hooking up with. But in Boston, I took it one step further with married men.
Shortly after that, I started to have an affair with a married guy I knew very well. We were out one night in New York City and started drinking during dinner.
Five drinks later, we started to talk about sex. We spoke about sex for over an hour and about his wife and kids. When dinner ended, he asked me if I wanted to get a bottle and come back to his hotel room.
We were already buzzed from dinner but he made up a few drinks for us at the hotel. He told me to stay the night and that I could sleep on the bed with him. We had sex twice that night; he left early because he had to catch a flight back home.
He sent me a text that morning informing me not to tell anyone since we had mutual friends. After that night we hooked up, we started sleeping together every time we saw each other.
I even fell for him at one point during our time together and I had to tell myself that it was nothing but a fling. We started to plan a life together and he would tell me he wanted to leave his wife so we could move in together.
I found myself in a lie. I couldn’t do this. If he was willing to do this to his family – what would he do to me later on? I had to let him find himself on his own. We’re still friends to this day but we haven’t slept together in almost a year.
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Sleeping with straight married men isn’t something I’m proud of but it isn’t something I’m ashamed of, either. I don’t believe just because I sleep around that it gives other gay guys a bad name. I just love my body like everyone else.
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The men I have been with have mainly been straight and single, or straight and married. I often ask them what it is that makes them do this. What makes them cheat?
Some say it’s because their marriage is over but are scared to get a divorce. Some are scared to start all over again in the dating world and some don’t want to hurt the kids. But most are too scared to come out of the closet and admit who they are.
Do I feel bad for all the wives? Yes, I do. I feel bad they live a life where they truly think they’re in a happy marriage. The married men I’ve been with have been school teachers, police officers, Wall Street businessmen and men who cheat while their wives are pregnant. I’ve even slept with a man the day before he got married.
As I enter my 30s, I wonder where life will take me. I was in a serious relationship for many years and it would have killed me to know that he cheated. But if he did, I wouldn’t hate the person he was with; I would hate my partner.
Most people want to put the blame on the mistress and not the person doing the cheating. But remember: we don’t know you or have feelings for you. To us, it’s just sex; to you, it’s a lot more. It’s a man that you love with all your heart lying and betraying you.
Seventeen percent of divorces are caused by infidelity. Most women aren’t aware of their husband’s cheating. You need to be more aware of the person you’re in bed with, ladies. You might just be sleeping with the enemy.