Oral sex is great in the 69 sex position because it’s an opportunity for your clitoris to get the attention and praise it deserves. But there are so many other feel-good treasures between your legs. The labia and mons pubis can experience pleasure with some pressure and stimulation, according to Finn.
So, if you’re giving oral to someone with a vulva she says, “It’s okay if your nose is pressed to their bits – that pressure will probably feel good.” She also recommends “using broader, less pinpointed strokes on the lips like you’re licking an ice cream cone to start before focusing in on the clit.”
Likewise, if your partner has a penis, “You don’t have to go right for the penis, you can also fondle or lick the perineum, balls, and inner thigh,” says Finn. (See More: 8 Male Erogenous Zones You’re Probably Ignoring During Sex).
3. Get handsy.
In the classic 69 sex position the partner on top may need both arms to support their body, but if your hands are available use them. Not only will this give you a breather (literally), it’ll also feel good. “Try caressing their inner thigh, their butts, their hips…wherever you know they like to be teased,” suggests Finn.
For a fun 69 sex position variation, you might try fingering them as you lick your partner if they have a vagina and enjoy penetration. Her suggestion? Try stimulating their G-spot – the spongy, textured patch along the front vaginal wall- with a come hither motion as you work them with your mouth. (Related: An Insider’s Guide To Sleeping With Another Woman or Vulva-Owner For The First Time).
If your partner has a penis, grab the base of it with your hand to control how deep it’s able to go in your throat. Or, try squirting some lube into your palm and giving them a handy while licking and sucking their balls. (BTW: Here’s The Average Penis Size In Case You Were Curious).
“Using your hands is also a good option if you’re close to climax and can’t focus on performing oral or need to catch a breath,” says Finn.
4. Grab some toys.
Vibrators, sex pillows, metal wands, dildos, kegel balls, anal beads, and butt plugs, “there’s no limit to the ‘extras’ you can incorporate into the 69 sex position to make it even more pleasurable,” says Queen. (See More: Your Guide To The 12 Main Types of Sex Toys).
But she especially recommends adding in a sex pillow like the Liberator Wedge (Buy It, $75, amazon) or Liberator Heart (Buy It, $66, amazon) to the 69 sex position mix. “These are specialty pillows and wedges that are made for sex that are fairly firm and can be used to support the bottom partner’s head or neck,” she explains. During the 69 sex position (and really any oral sex position) you want to pay pretty close attention to how your head is positioned and how much weight is on it to avoid injury, she says.
5. Incorporate your booty.
Butt plugs, tongues, and fingers are all fair game when 69-ing, so long as your partner gives their consent. If you get the green light, and the height match-up allows it, tease the nerve-dense ring around your partner’s anus with your tongue. In general, “I don’t recommend going from the butt hole back to the vulva because you don’t want to move bacteria from butt back to the vulva, which could increase the risk of UTI and yeast infections,” says Finn. “But if you are planning to perform or receive oral everywhere, just make sure the butt is cleaned really well beforehand, she says. (Have more rimming Qs? )